Life

Life is a little like wrestling a gorilla
You don't quit when you're tired.
You quit when the gorilla is tired!
(Robert Frost)

GREAT MEN THAT I MIRROR

Often times i sit back and reflect on the great Biblical characters of the ages and find that i have things in common with a many of them. David, Moses, Peter, Paul, and on and on and on. The height of Egotistism you say? The epitome of Arrogance? The summit of Hilarity? Perhaps. But i'll wager that every one who reads this falls into the same catagory as I.
When i deny the Christ or pretend i don't know Him, I am reminded of how much i am like Peter.
When I walk into sinful situations with both eyes wide open and my lust panting like a crazed stag during the rut I much i think like Paul when he called himself the "chief of sinners".
When i whine that i don't have certain abilities or knowledge, just so i won't have to do something for the Lord, I can stand as tall as Moses.
When I've prayed while embracing my partner in an adulterous affair for God to bless us, I think of how i am like David who was so stricken with lust for a woman he had her husband killed so he could have her.
When i think of how often i've lied to save my own skin, i remind me a lot of Abraham lieing about Sarah.
I even go a step further in my likeness to Jeremiah. He only thought about going off to a place and hide from his responsibilites, but didn't. I, too often, have run off into the wilderness and hid until God got it done some other way. Then i came back as if nothing had happened and boldly asked God for my next assignment!
Yes, i'm a lot like many of the heros i heard and read about all of my life. I'm having trouble though finding an identity that looks and mimics their heroic sides.
Oh well. I hope as soon as i see the gates of hell off in the distance i will lay aside all of my road to doom paving paraphernalia and turn and run back as fast as i can.

IF

1. If i said i had perfected a way to transplant a face from one person to another what would you say? I do it all the time as a hobby. Ironically, i don't need a steril environment, precisioned surgical tools, assistants or specialized knowledge. Just a pair of sicissors and some glue. I am also perfecting body transplants by using the same techniques.
2. If i said i was on the Titanic what would you say? In fact i can be anywhere at anytime regardless of distance, dates or circumstances. All i need is: A) a picture or likeness of the event, a pair of sicissors and some glue , or B) a pad and a pen.
3. If i said i have something in my possession that:
Greets but has no voice, Flies but has no wings, Embraces but has no arms,
Travels but has not legs, Comforts but has no feelings, Is always present but rarely
seen, what would you say?
4. If i said there is no God i would be a fool!

UGLY CAR

My car is so ugly, local wrecking yards have banned me from parking nearby!


My friend is so ugly when he looked into his mirror, not only did his break but every mirror in a three block area broke as well!

I have a friend that stunk so bad that when he went to bed one night the bedbugs packed up and left!

My baby brother was so fat we used him for a bowling ball until he was five!

AWAY WITH THE SPOT

I put some spot remover on my dog and he disappeared!!

This, this here, that, that there and the other

"This" becomes "that" when the sun sets on "this" because during the night "this" morphed into "that" and when the sun rose again it rose on "That" which was "this" just a few hours before. Or "this" automatically becomes secondary to a new "this". Then we begin referring to the first or old "this" as "that". Or when "this" is moved away from a near location to a far away location it is then usually referred to as "that".
"This here" works the same way as "this" but it lends to a more specific identity of "this". When "here" is added to "this" it speaks of a particular "this" as opposed to just any "this". "Here" also makes it much more difficult to misunderstand which "this" is intended when confronted with many options.
One should follow the basic same rules when working with "that" and "that there" as with "this" and "this here". Just always remember that "that" is never "this" until it is officially converted by following the rules of conversion.
"The other", by simple elimination refers to anything that is not "this" or "that". But when anything in "the other" catagory become specifically identified or referred to it becomes either "this" or "that". If such happens then all "this's" and "that's" must give way to that particular "other" that is now being reffered to as "this" or "that".
Hope this clears up any misunderstandings. Our language is something else. As I always say, "Don't never unless you will." And another piece of advice "that" rivals "this" is: (see how i've used "this" and "that" in this sentence?). "If in doubt, don't! If you're sure, do!"
You know in our own language there are idioms, provincialisms, prounciations, etc. that make comprehension and understanding difficult. Sometime I'd like to jump into this and extract some clarifications. until then "this" is Robert (full of tomfoolery)